This is a new year…and with it I find myself in an even newer month. One where I have high hopes of accomplishing so much more for myself, but also one where I feel like I’m at a standstill. I can’t really explain what’s happening or why I feel the way that I do, but I feel like me trying to get myself to a normal place is becoming an uphill battle (if that makes sense).
With every year, we face the same challenges, we go into the new year with high hopes of accomplishing so much that we weren’t able to do last year, and we find ourselves ready to jump in head first. I didn’t feel that way this year, which can explain my lack of writing. I’ve never let my passion for things fade, but I have allowed my determination to get them done waiver. And I believe that that’s been one of the worst things for me. I can’t afford for this to be how I feel and allow it to take over my life.
2017 was a good year, and even though there was one dark moment in that year (the passing of my uncle) I can still say that I had a wonderful year. I experienced a lot of changes; seeing things come together the way they did reminded me that the best has yet to come. And I do beleive that there is so much more to experience. But since I didn’t start this new year off the way that I had hoped to…I’ve allowed that to not, necessarily frustrate me, but to slow down where I feel I could be right now and doing more of what I should be doing.
I know what it is and that it all stems from myself. Like the old saying goes, “it’s all in your mind”, which I believe has a lot to do with what we see and how we believe in things. But I am a firm believer that things can and will get better and I have to be willing to not only see that for myself, but to actually trust and know that it will all come together.
Four days into this new month and I am not counting myself or all that I have longed to accomplish out. I think I just need a new method of handling things and getting better results in regards to what I want to see for myself.
Well we all were fortunate enough to make it through another week, and I myself am so thankful. I’m thankful that I can spend today refueling myself, and hopefully catching up on some things that I’ve let go undone during the week. Although we only have two days (some of us) take this time to do at least one thing that makes YOU happy, coupled with the others that need to be completed.
Remember this: Life is happening now. What are you waiting for?
This year will be one that I will never forget, and like everything when it’s over I learned so much from it that I will take with me into next year. Looking back, there have been a lot of highs and lows and some things that were unimaginable but we made it through. I believe moving forward we can all stand to do a lot better than we have been doing, whether it’s reaching out to someone and helping someone in need or being better in this new year than we were last year. I know that we have all gone through our own trials and it has definitely been a journey for all of us to find that light at the end of the tunnel, which I call the end of the year, but we are getting closer (t minus three hours). I pray that there are no repeats to anything that has happened before and that we can all move forward together and that we all be willing to let go of the past and make new things happen within this new year. We all did a lot of things within this new year that I am sure we would all like to leave behind us, and I hope we do and we make better decisions moving forward. There was a lot of sadness that came along with this year but as we continue to move forward I know that things will get a little easier. A lot of people who we started this year with didn’t make it to the finish line with us, and although they are in our hearts it hurts to see that they are no longer here on earth but I pray that they are all in a better place. Moving into this new year I look ahead to 2014 with lots of hope, enthusiasm, and optimism for I know that God will see us all through. 2013 had its ups and downs but we still made it through, and although we didn’t do all of what we wanted to do I believe that 2014 will be all that we wished it to be and then some. Happy New Year! Continue to check out the blog because there is a lot more to come…
Often times we get so caught up in wanting to be with someone that we tend to forget about ourselves. We get so wrapped up in the idealizations of what we want that we lose focus on what is currently standing in front of us. I’ve been there and have done that, in fact I’m doing it now…and it sucks. It sucks because I let the most important thing slip away from my focus: the value of me. Me, ME, ME, ME, ME!!! It happens and I know that we are all guilty of doing this, we get so caught up in what we want or the other person that we forget about ourselves and how important we are. We lose focus of what matters, and in this crazy and hectic world we forget to focus on us. Me being the selfish person that I am, saw what I wanted and let my mind run wild, and for the last two years, on and off, have been forgetting to value myself more in the situation than what I do. I matter, You matter, and the quicker we all realize it and start to value us more in our own lives I believe that things will turn out better. There is value in each and every one of us; but it is up to us remember it, to realize it, and to make us and our lives that more valuable with the choices that we make and then I believe that life will be more enjoyable and less stressful.
Today is my Grandmother’s birthday and with her no longer being physically here for us to celebrate it, I felt saddened by that but since the day is officially here I don’t feel that bad. Although I miss her more than anything I smile because of all of the birthdays that I was able to share with her. Every year I try to do something in her honor because it just makes me remember that on this one day it is not just another day, but one that is very special to not only me but to all of my family. I am not sure what we will do today but I want to do whatever we feel that my Grandmother would have enjoyed doing on her special day. I know that my family will all be on their own celebrating and thinking about all of the treasured memories that we had together. I just wanted to take a moment out of my very early morning to wish my one true love, my light, and the one who gave me my mother (right after God), my Grandmother a happy birthday.
With so much going on in
the world our worlds it is not hard to lose sight of what is important. Today I had the pleasure of spending the day with my family at our family reunion and even though there were some that weren’t able to make it, being there in the midst of all of the laughs, food, and love made the day so much better. We all can get so wrapped up in things that don’t or shouldn’t always matter and we put what should be important on the back burner (we’ll talk more about this later) and when we think to come back to it it may be too late. Spending time with and making the memories with family is one of those things that a lot of times we lose sight on and or forget to do and when we think to do it, it can some times be too late. Being around all of my family, and looking at everyone’s faces as they had fun and were enjoying each other made me take a mental snapshot of this one particular moment that we were all able to participate in. We won’t all choose to make certain things a priority in our lives until it is too late, but the one thing in life that will always serve us a purpose and will be the stronghold in our lives (at least for me) is the love of my family. We may bicker with each other, as we all do, but when it’s all said and done memories like these are all worth it. Don’t let life and the things that you’re trying to conquer make you lose sight of what is important, because it is those that are around you that really matter.
It is so easy to come up with an idea, and even quicker to not see it through. Right now this is something that I am facing because I know what I need to do but my problem is following it through. Why is that? We can have the greatest idea but don’t have the drive to see it completely through. What I am currently conjuring up in my head will only help me to evolve as a person and make a better future for myself, but that is only if I have the guts to see it through. That is the problem, we become so scared of the what-if’s that we never really give ourselves a fair chance to succeed. As much as we fear being great beyond our own measure we need to realize that if we never try we don’t know what will happen, and the what-if’s will always be there. The most important thing in life that I never want to do is live a life full of regrets, so it’s time to shake off the fear (and procrastination) and move forward with my ideas of today, which could turn into something great tomorrow.
It’s summertime and I’m pretty sure that we are all feeling the heat wave that has made its way across this great country of ours, but even as the temperatures rise more than we’d like them to, I am appreciating the glow of the sunshine. This glow can have many different meanings to how you look at it or apply it to your life, but for me it just means that I am enjoying the feeling of the things around me being as good as they are. Everything may not be great, that is life but to see now how things have been working out, and to look out of the window and see the sun shining (even with the heat that it brings) lets me know that even in the darkest of hours that things are not as bad as they may seem, and that God will always make a way. The sunshine will always give me hope, even in the midst of the rain, which has been coming in droves, has washed away all of the pains that we have, to see the sun shining lets me know that things will always work out, no matter what. So I look forward to seeing the sun out and even though it may be hot out, I enjoy seeing God smiling down on me, because it makes me more appreciative of all that He has done for me….
“People don’t leave because it’s hard, they leave because it’s not worth it”…
As soon as I read these words I knew that what I wrote on yesterday made more sense now than ever. In the world we live in (today) there are a lot of things that are hard and we tend to not want to deal with anything that is complicated, but when you get right down to it, people are complicated beings and so entering a relationship with another person will have some level of difficulty to it. I think after you start to peel back the layers and are really ready to be open with one another then you can get past the complexities of ourselves and then let the easiness of it all flow in. But what happens if that “easiness” never happens, or we never let each other in like we need to? I can say for myself that it soon gets to the point where what you have will start to wither away and die. We let our insecurities, life, and sometimes the perceptions of things that we see get the best of us and we then let that screw with what we have–or are striving for. When does it no longer become worth it? I would have to say when one or both people are no longer willing to try. You can tell that other person how you feel but if they’re not willing to do what is required to make things better then there is nothing that can be done to salvage what has already been lost. We can’t make anyone give us anything, people will have to want to and we all get to the self realization in our own timing and it isn’t always the best time for who we want or where we want to be, but I do believe that if something is worth it then you do what it takes to keep it; you treasure it, keep it, hold on tight to it before you end up losing something that could have been the one thing that changed it all…