Last Night’s Continuation….

“People don’t leave because it’s hard, they leave because it’s not worth it”…

As soon as I read these words I knew that what I wrote on yesterday made more sense now than ever. In the world we live in (today) there are a lot of things that are hard and we tend to not want to deal with anything that is complicated, but when you get right down to it, people are complicated beings and so entering a relationship with another person will have some level of difficulty to it. I think after you start to peel back the layers and are really ready to be open with one another then you can get past the complexities of ourselves and then let the easiness of it all flow in. But what happens if that “easiness” never happens, or we never let each other in like we need to? I can say for myself that it soon gets to the point where what you have will start to wither away and die. We let our insecurities, life, and sometimes the perceptions of things that we see get the best of us and we then let that screw with what we have–or are striving for. When does it no longer become worth it? I would have to say when one or both people are no longer willing to try. You can tell that other person how you feel but if they’re not willing to do what is required to make things better then there is nothing that can be done to salvage what has already been lost. We can’t make anyone give us anything, people will have to want to and we all get to the self realization in our own timing and it isn’t always the best time for who we want or where we want to be, but I do believe that if something is worth it then you do what it takes to keep it; you treasure it, keep it, hold on tight to it before you end up losing something that could have been the one thing that changed it all…

  

“If someone rea…

“If someone really loved you they wouldn’t let you slip away no matter how hard the situation is…”

While scrolling on a facebook page I saw this saying or phrase these words, whatever you want to call it, and it got me to thinking. My initial thought was of my recent split from the one I gave my heart to, but the more time passed and as I continued to think about these words I realized that to me this doesn’t hold that much merit. Why do I say this? I say this because although things in life are hard, and we tend to make them harder than they need to be, I believe that love is one thing that shouldn’t have to be hard. L-o-v-e is the one thing in this world that should come easily without any pretenses and the drama that seems to come along with everything else now-a-days. The reason why I say this is because when I think of my recent situation, if that person cared half as much as they said that they did, then we wouldn’t had tough times (at least not the one that kept reoccurring) and I can only speak for myself as this is how I feel. I believe that we make things hard and love never is, nor has it been, we take it there and can never seem to find our way back…

My Realization…

After making a life-changing situation within the last couple of weeks, I have had a lot of time to think about what it is that I really want. I know that it’s time to not just sit back and let the chips fall where they may but for me to look at the situation in it’s entirety and figure out what went wrong and make a better, more informed choice in the future. I think at times we can have the right mindset to do what we know we need but then things happen and we get sidetracked by our feelings and then before we know it we end up all over the place, emotionally and physically. The next time around in my relationship, when I am ready for it, I want to be able to listen to that voice inside that lets me know that where I am is either right or wrong. Too often we let our heart lead us into temptation and before we know it we are falling all over a cliff and can’t stop ourselves. This time I want to be able to stop myself from falling and realize what is going on…

My Week…

My week has been one that in a way I felt has been coming for a long while. To say that it has been an easy one couldn’t be further from the truth. Tomorrow will be one week that I walked away from someone who I thought would be in my life forever, but I guess that God had others plans for me. It hurts to know that when things like this happen you are left feeling all kinds of things and it’s like you are going around in circles, just spinning your wheels. Mine have been spinning out of control and I am just trying to figure out what to do next? I am trying to find that “happy” place and keep myself there, instead of being on an emotional rollercoaster. But I will say that my feelings are nothing like I thought that they would be. I feel okay, it’s like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and that in the end things will turn out better than I ever expected. I am so grateful for that, and even though I may have my moments of feeling sad and missing what I once had, I know that in time things will turn out greater than I have ever imagined.

In My Feelings…

I feel…like I keep going around and around wondering what is happening with us. Why do I keep having these feelings? If the same thing continues to gnaw at me, does this mean that something really is wrong and I need to address it? I could be just feeling this way but this isn’t how I want or should have to feel, ever. I want something more than the way I feel and want to move past this, either with him or on my own. I don’t know what is to come of this or if there can be something worked out but if there is I hope that we can find our way through this.

“Life isn’t com…

“Life isn’t complicated, we make it that way…”

Complications and people go hand in hand. We…make things in our lives more complicated than they have to be but we wonder why is it happening to us. Crazy? Yes, but it is just who we are and what we do. You would think the older you get the less stressful you would make your life but that’s not always the case. No matter what, the less complications in life the easier life would be… 

Reassurance

It’s been a few days but in that time I was able to gain full clarity on some situations that I begun let get under my skin. So, I feel good about moving forward knowing that I don’t feel the same way that I did yesterday. Its like those issues were buried in the back of my head but yet I could see them so clearly and it was beginning to get on my nerves. I kept asking myself why wasn’t I letting them go when I kept telling myself that I had. That was the worst part for me because I could not figure that out for the life of me. But after some reflection on things and a whole lot of praying, I was able to let all of those things go because I knew that they would be worked out and even if they don’t happen to go as I have planned I know that eventually they will. That is enough reassurance for me so I just know that all I have to do is my part and the God will take it the rest of the way.

Happy Feelings…

I woke up feeling as though the effects from the last few days didn’t matter as much and I was so looking forward to the spiritual encouragement that would get me through this week. I got just that, via internet since I wasn’t able to make it to church. Although it wasn’t the same the message spoke to me as if there weren’t the barrier of the camera or computer between us. After it was over I felt that the tasks ahead of me for this week would be a piece of cake and I am not at all worried about them. Nor am I worried about the things that have happened within the past forty-eight hours either. I was able to let go of all things and just felt so much better, and I knew that the progress of where I am and will end up is good. To find encouragement when you don’t know your missing it, whether it be in a conversation or even something as little as a smile is amazing. I got that and it washed away any uneasiness that I may have been feeling so all I have right now are happy feelings, feelings that I am hoping will not waiver no matter what my week will bring.

Whether or Weather: The Everchanging

I was sitting and thinking and out of nowhere it seemed to come to me, but putting it all together took some time (as do all good things). Whether/weather, two words that sound alike and in some instances, the way that I’m thinking, tend to hold similar meaning. Where I live the weather here can change from cold to hot, from hot to raining within a matter of hours; in with the word whether we tend to change our minds so frequently it can be mind boggling to some. Oh a lot of us do it and when you think about it the old saying comes into mind “you change your mind like the weather”; and while we’re scatter brained about this one thing and then moving to the next we tend to wonder whether or not the choices we’re about to make fit into our lives. Will they make us happy? Are we doing what feels right to us or someone else? There are so many questions that have our minds fleeting with either nervous energy or fear and whether or not that is a good thing is all up to us. Just like with the everchanging weather that seems to follow its own mind to do what it wants to do, we should be the same way. Live our lives the way we want to and don’t worry about others’ judgements because that is not what we should live for. I awoke to this beautiful sunny day, albeit a little cold, I felt inspired to do the things that have been lingering far too long on my to-do list and just enjoy all that I have. I have love all around me and God has given me so much joy even though where I am standing now may not be where I choose to be, it’s still a good spot. Whether I choose to do this or that or any of it at all I will still flow through life just as the weather does…as carefree and breezy as ever.