Last Night’s Continuation….

“People don’t leave because it’s hard, they leave because it’s not worth it”…

As soon as I read these words I knew that what I wrote on yesterday made more sense now than ever. In the world we live in (today) there are a lot of things that are hard and we tend to not want to deal with anything that is complicated, but when you get right down to it, people are complicated beings and so entering a relationship with another person will have some level of difficulty to it. I think after you start to peel back the layers and are really ready to be open with one another then you can get past the complexities of ourselves and then let the easiness of it all flow in. But what happens if that “easiness” never happens, or we never let each other in like we need to? I can say for myself that it soon gets to the point where what you have will start to wither away and die. We let our insecurities, life, and sometimes the perceptions of things that we see get the best of us and we then let that screw with what we have–or are striving for. When does it no longer become worth it? I would have to say when one or both people are no longer willing to try. You can tell that other person how you feel but if they’re not willing to do what is required to make things better then there is nothing that can be done to salvage what has already been lost. We can’t make anyone give us anything, people will have to want to and we all get to the self realization in our own timing and it isn’t always the best time for who we want or where we want to be, but I do believe that if something is worth it then you do what it takes to keep it; you treasure it, keep it, hold on tight to it before you end up losing something that could have been the one thing that changed it all…

  

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“If someone rea…

“If someone really loved you they wouldn’t let you slip away no matter how hard the situation is…”

While scrolling on a facebook page I saw this saying or phrase these words, whatever you want to call it, and it got me to thinking. My initial thought was of my recent split from the one I gave my heart to, but the more time passed and as I continued to think about these words I realized that to me this doesn’t hold that much merit. Why do I say this? I say this because although things in life are hard, and we tend to make them harder than they need to be, I believe that love is one thing that shouldn’t have to be hard. L-o-v-e is the one thing in this world that should come easily without any pretenses and the drama that seems to come along with everything else now-a-days. The reason why I say this is because when I think of my recent situation, if that person cared half as much as they said that they did, then we wouldn’t had tough times (at least not the one that kept reoccurring) and I can only speak for myself as this is how I feel. I believe that we make things hard and love never is, nor has it been, we take it there and can never seem to find our way back…

My Realization…

After making a life-changing situation within the last couple of weeks, I have had a lot of time to think about what it is that I really want. I know that it’s time to not just sit back and let the chips fall where they may but for me to look at the situation in it’s entirety and figure out what went wrong and make a better, more informed choice in the future. I think at times we can have the right mindset to do what we know we need but then things happen and we get sidetracked by our feelings and then before we know it we end up all over the place, emotionally and physically. The next time around in my relationship, when I am ready for it, I want to be able to listen to that voice inside that lets me know that where I am is either right or wrong. Too often we let our heart lead us into temptation and before we know it we are falling all over a cliff and can’t stop ourselves. This time I want to be able to stop myself from falling and realize what is going on…

My Week…

My week has been one that in a way I felt has been coming for a long while. To say that it has been an easy one couldn’t be further from the truth. Tomorrow will be one week that I walked away from someone who I thought would be in my life forever, but I guess that God had others plans for me. It hurts to know that when things like this happen you are left feeling all kinds of things and it’s like you are going around in circles, just spinning your wheels. Mine have been spinning out of control and I am just trying to figure out what to do next? I am trying to find that “happy” place and keep myself there, instead of being on an emotional rollercoaster. But I will say that my feelings are nothing like I thought that they would be. I feel okay, it’s like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and that in the end things will turn out better than I ever expected. I am so grateful for that, and even though I may have my moments of feeling sad and missing what I once had, I know that in time things will turn out greater than I have ever imagined.

In My Feelings…

I feel…like I keep going around and around wondering what is happening with us. Why do I keep having these feelings? If the same thing continues to gnaw at me, does this mean that something really is wrong and I need to address it? I could be just feeling this way but this isn’t how I want or should have to feel, ever. I want something more than the way I feel and want to move past this, either with him or on my own. I don’t know what is to come of this or if there can be something worked out but if there is I hope that we can find our way through this.

“Life isn’t com…

“Life isn’t complicated, we make it that way…”

Complications and people go hand in hand. We…make things in our lives more complicated than they have to be but we wonder why is it happening to us. Crazy? Yes, but it is just who we are and what we do. You would think the older you get the less stressful you would make your life but that’s not always the case. No matter what, the less complications in life the easier life would be… 

Reassurance

It’s been a few days but in that time I was able to gain full clarity on some situations that I begun let get under my skin. So, I feel good about moving forward knowing that I don’t feel the same way that I did yesterday. Its like those issues were buried in the back of my head but yet I could see them so clearly and it was beginning to get on my nerves. I kept asking myself why wasn’t I letting them go when I kept telling myself that I had. That was the worst part for me because I could not figure that out for the life of me. But after some reflection on things and a whole lot of praying, I was able to let all of those things go because I knew that they would be worked out and even if they don’t happen to go as I have planned I know that eventually they will. That is enough reassurance for me so I just know that all I have to do is my part and the God will take it the rest of the way.