Go Figure….

This is a new year…and with it I find myself in an even newer month. One where I have high hopes of accomplishing so much more for myself, but also one where I feel like I’m at a standstill. I can’t really explain what’s happening or why I feel the way that I do, but I feel like me trying to get myself to a normal place is becoming an uphill battle (if that makes sense).

With every year, we face the same challenges, we go into the new year with high hopes of accomplishing so much that we weren’t able to do last year, and we find ourselves ready to jump in head first. I didn’t feel that way this year, which can explain my lack of writing. I’ve never let my passion for things fade, but I have allowed my determination to get them done waiver. And I believe that that’s been one of the worst things for me. I can’t afford for this to be how I feel and allow it to take over my life.

2017 was a good year, and even though there was one dark moment in that year (the passing of my uncle) I can still say that I had a wonderful year. I experienced a lot of changes; seeing things come together the way they did reminded me that the best has yet to come. And I do beleive that there is so much more to experience. But since I didn’t start this new year off the way that I had hoped to…I’ve allowed that to not, necessarily frustrate me, but to slow down where I feel I could be right now and doing more of what I should be doing.

I know what it is and that it all stems from myself. Like the old saying goes, “it’s all in your mind”, which I believe has a lot to do with what we see and how we believe in things. But I am a firm believer that things can and will get better and I have to be willing to not only see that for myself, but to actually trust and know that it will all come together.

Four days into this new month and I am not counting myself or all that I have longed to accomplish out. I think I just need a new method of handling things and getting better results in regards to what I want to see for myself.

 

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My Week…

My week has been one that in a way I felt has been coming for a long while. To say that it has been an easy one couldn’t be further from the truth. Tomorrow will be one week that I walked away from someone who I thought would be in my life forever, but I guess that God had others plans for me. It hurts to know that when things like this happen you are left feeling all kinds of things and it’s like you are going around in circles, just spinning your wheels. Mine have been spinning out of control and I am just trying to figure out what to do next? I am trying to find that “happy” place and keep myself there, instead of being on an emotional rollercoaster. But I will say that my feelings are nothing like I thought that they would be. I feel okay, it’s like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and that in the end things will turn out better than I ever expected. I am so grateful for that, and even though I may have my moments of feeling sad and missing what I once had, I know that in time things will turn out greater than I have ever imagined.