“You only live once, but if you do it right once is all you need”…..
Living life without the worries or strain that we put on ourselves each day, enjoying the little things that we often never notice are there; and being thankful for each day, second, and hour that we have to share with the ones that we love.
When things in our lives seem to be going good, why do we let the insecurities that we have seep in and take over our happiness? I am guilty of doing this and lately I have been on an emotional rollercoaster, going all over the place with my emotions, trying to figure out where I stand with my feelings. I realize that when in a relationship you have to check your insecurities at the door and don’t let them seep into what you have with the other person, especially if what you have is good. I don’t want to be one of those people who let insecurities keep me from being happy, I want that happiness. So, each time that my insecurities try and wreck my life I’ve got to realize that my happiness, my life, and ME are so much bigger than any of those little things that we let consume us but don’t really have any baring on our lives.
Yesterday I walked…I walked for those who couldn’t, those who if I were in their shoes would do the same for me, I walked with a purpose, with pride that what I was doing something that was bigger than me…something that I hope will be life-changing for at least one person…
Yesterday tons of people in my local area participated in an Aids Walk and with it being my first time I was glad to be doing something than was for a good cause. I didn’t know what to expect but I was able to take away so much and just glad to be in company with others who were willing to do something for someone else. There wasn’t much more than walking and conversation going on but the one thing that was shared was all of us being able to do something for a cause that affects so many of us.
This was a weekend that I had been waiting for. Why? Because this weekend held more purpose than I could ever imagine, more laughter in one single moment that I had in one given day last week. Everything that happened, or that I did was very necessary and God did it for a reason. My friend planned out our weekend and the whole mission: was just to have fun and walk with a purpose (explain that later), and we did just that. Saturday we went to HLSR and had a ball, I rode all of the rides that I had been eyeing for the past two weeks and she ate more junk and called on the Lords’ name more than a few times. We met people and just had fun. That was a very memorable night and by the end of it I was dog tired. What would be the most memorable experience hadn’t even happened yet. Within a couple of hours of laying down we were right back up to go to the annual Aids Walk that was held. I had never had a better time or feeling walking for something or someone more important than myself. Being a part of that taught me that some things in life are much bigger than us and if we take the time to just see that life is more precious than we tend to make it. If were willing to do so much more with ourselves and our own lives and take responsibility for the things we do things could be so much better. I have learned a lot in the last twenty four hours and I plan to do so much with what I learned. Just wait and see…
Earlier today I was reading my cousin’s blog (jerrellrenee.com) and she was talking about breaking up from the word BUSY…and while I was reading it made me think. Am I like this? Am I too busy to return a phone call or hang out w/ those around me and never spend that much needed quality time that is needed in life? Do I have other things on my mind consuming my time that I refuse to acknowledge the now and take advantage of the precious moments of today? Guilty. I am guilty of being busy doing other things that I have lagged in other areas and have lost time just being…being able to enjoy all that there is around me. I really felt bad when I found myself mad at my boyfriend but I was just like him consumed in other things and didn’t have time to really spend on us. We all get so caught up in the world around us that we forget about the little things that can mean so much and we tend to forget about them and put them to the back burner and become too busy. So today I want to try to not be as busy and take time (wherever I can find it) and enjoy the little things that mean so much in the end.
Seeing the sun shining, even with the cold winds that seem to blast through every morning makes you smile because the day is so beautiful. As I get up and move around I am anticipating what the next few hours may be like. Within the last week I have gotten a chance to do something that is temporarily out of the ordinary and I am making the most of it. I can’t wait to see the joy on the children’s faces as they see all of the different activities going on around them. It makes my day because I remember being one of them enjoying the field trips to the HLSR that the city hosts every year. If you’ve never been then you’re missing out. It is nice to see the people who take the time out to greet you either with a smile or acknowledge you, that is really nice. But to see all of the history and the decorations or even all of the vendors showing off their merchandise hoping to get a sell. I realized that just like the experience before I can take them with me and become better because of all that I have learned and have seen. Most of all its about the little things that catch our attention and stick with us. The little things that make us smile.
I feel…like I keep going around and around wondering what is happening with us. Why do I keep having these feelings? If the same thing continues to gnaw at me, does this mean that something really is wrong and I need to address it? I could be just feeling this way but this isn’t how I want or should have to feel, ever. I want something more than the way I feel and want to move past this, either with him or on my own. I don’t know what is to come of this or if there can be something worked out but if there is I hope that we can find our way through this.