My Sunshine

After a day of unsettled feelings, no that’s not what I felt, not being to quite comprehend my thoughts more clearly is how I felt. It was weird because I felt really good but whenever I tried to put how I felt into words nothing made sense. Anywho, I am past that today and I feel better today but curiosity is starting to rear its ugly head on a few things running through my head. With those I guess I will have to find answers to those sooner than later. One of the purest and most soothing things brightened my day. What is it you ask? I turned over this morning and saw the sun shining and it instantly put a smile on my face :). In that moment I really didn’t care what happened because I knew that moment would carry me throughout my day. And it has into this late evening and even though I haven’t done much that same energy is with me. I am idly thinking of my ever growing to-do list that I need to work on. I will but I just had to spread some of my sunshine around before the sun actually faded into this night.

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The First Step…

For me, today marked the last of the rest of days of being unfulfilled with the way things were in my life. With a little persistence from a very dear friend, no scratch that my sister, I had no other choice or reason to wait any longer. What is it you ask? I took the first step in getting myself back in school and creating the life that I know I deserve. The life that I know I am capable of having and that is just what I intend to do. So I got myself up this morning and went to the college and started the process that I had been putting off for a long while. Not so much so but at some point life got in the way of what I wanted and in that time I had to find my way back to where I felt I needed to be. Once I had finished with everything I felt relieved that I had made some progress and even though I still a ways to go…taking that first step felt wonderful. It felt as though I was letting go of the fear and walking toward my reality. In my eyes the thing that was meant just for me and is what I should be doing. I am thankful for all of those who kept pushing and never let me waiver from what they knew meant so much to me. Although there are many steps ahead of me I know that my best is along the way…

Happy Feelings…

I woke up feeling as though the effects from the last few days didn’t matter as much and I was so looking forward to the spiritual encouragement that would get me through this week. I got just that, via internet since I wasn’t able to make it to church. Although it wasn’t the same the message spoke to me as if there weren’t the barrier of the camera or computer between us. After it was over I felt that the tasks ahead of me for this week would be a piece of cake and I am not at all worried about them. Nor am I worried about the things that have happened within the past forty-eight hours either. I was able to let go of all things and just felt so much better, and I knew that the progress of where I am and will end up is good. To find encouragement when you don’t know your missing it, whether it be in a conversation or even something as little as a smile is amazing. I got that and it washed away any uneasiness that I may have been feeling so all I have right now are happy feelings, feelings that I am hoping will not waiver no matter what my week will bring.

“Manage your ex…

“Manage your expectations and you’ll manage your emotions”…

While engulfed in the new book that I’m reading, Commitment by Nia Forrester, I came across this statement that was said by the male character Shawn to his significant other Riley, and it made me think for a moment. What does this mean? Could this be true in life and relationships as well? The more I thought about it the more this statement made sense to me and it doesn’t need to be deciphered for someone to get it. It is said as simple as it can possibly be, because if we manage the way we expect things to happen to us then when they may or may not go as planned we’ll know how to handle them…

#foodforthought

Waking Myself Up..

It was five minutes until four o’clock when I decided to wake myself up. I wasn’t asleep but I did indeed need to wake up and get things in order with myself. For two weeks I have been “resting” as I call it but I now know that I can no longer sleep (in a sense), so I decided to focus on all around me that I was no longer happy with and decided to take a chance and change things. Most of these things I have been mulling over in my head but have yet to execute but I know that this allotted time that I have right now I have got to use to make them happen. So, as I feel refreshed from my “rest” I am ready to tackle the tasks at hand and that is me, here goes…wish me luck.

One Moment in Time: History in the Making…

Do you know where you were when this moment first happened? I do, I was where I am now with a front row seat (in front of my television that is) with my grandmother while my uncle barbecued. Yes, it was definitely something to be celebrated and even moreso four years later. This year it resonates with a different meaning and it could be because it has fallen on a day that celebrates hope and how far we all still have to go. As a black woman, I understand what this moment means for me and others who look just like me..and others who do not, but still have hope for a better tomorrow. My pastor said it best yesterday when he said that it was divine order and that made total sense to me. Everyone may not agree on the choice of who is to run the office or how well they do the job but we all have a responsibility to pull together to bring ourselves out from where we are. Seeing this all happens inspires me and lets me, and I hope others as well, that you can be anything you want you never have to settle for average. It also shows you that along the way people will fight you tooth and nail when you are trying to do what you feel is the right thing. No matter what this moment brings about hope for me and that is enough to be my driving force.

“You can’t go f…

“You can’t go forward if you’re always looking back”…

Life, the hopeful part of it, is to always progress and get where we want to be, but how can that be if we are always looking back and wondering what if. We can question everything in life 50x over and still may not get the answers we’re searching for, but the reality is God didn’t give us what we left behind because it was not for us. What is is up ahead and as long as we keep looking forward with hope and optimism in our eyes we can have what lies ahead and what didn’t work out because it got us to the now. The point where we can let go of fear and live happily, where we do not care what others have to say but we move knowing that they only approval that matters is ours. So, with each step that we take, take it knowing that what lies ahead for you is what is for you and what you left behind you got you to where you are now.