This is a new year…and with it I find myself in an even newer month. One where I have high hopes of accomplishing so much more for myself, but also one where I feel like I’m at a standstill. I can’t really explain what’s happening or why I feel the way that I do, but I feel like me trying to get myself to a normal place is becoming an uphill battle (if that makes sense).
With every year, we face the same challenges, we go into the new year with high hopes of accomplishing so much that we weren’t able to do last year, and we find ourselves ready to jump in head first. I didn’t feel that way this year, which can explain my lack of writing. I’ve never let my passion for things fade, but I have allowed my determination to get them done waiver. And I believe that that’s been one of the worst things for me. I can’t afford for this to be how I feel and allow it to take over my life.
2017 was a good year, and even though there was one dark moment in that year (the passing of my uncle) I can still say that I had a wonderful year. I experienced a lot of changes; seeing things come together the way they did reminded me that the best has yet to come. And I do beleive that there is so much more to experience. But since I didn’t start this new year off the way that I had hoped to…I’ve allowed that to not, necessarily frustrate me, but to slow down where I feel I could be right now and doing more of what I should be doing.
I know what it is and that it all stems from myself. Like the old saying goes, “it’s all in your mind”, which I believe has a lot to do with what we see and how we believe in things. But I am a firm believer that things can and will get better and I have to be willing to not only see that for myself, but to actually trust and know that it will all come together.
Four days into this new month and I am not counting myself or all that I have longed to accomplish out. I think I just need a new method of handling things and getting better results in regards to what I want to see for myself.
The time is…almost Christmas day and to me it feels like just the beginning of another week. That could be because of all the changes that have recently occurred in my life.
One of the most drastic changes was the passing of my dear uncle, Michael. That alone has taken away all of my holiday cheer. Sure I’ve listened to a few of my favorite Christmas songs, but that hasn’t put me in the holiday spirit. To be honest, what I had hoped our holiday plans would look like have come to be nothing of the sort. I wanted to be with all of our family, laughing and enjoying our time together, but there haven’t been many laughs lately.
To me the holidays have always been one where my family got together and shared tons of laughs, love, gifts, and food. We never forgot the reason for the season and that brought us the biggest joy; remembering Jesus’s birth.
I haven’t forgotten those things and even though I feel the way I do it just doesn’t feel much like such a joyous time this year.
I know the holidays can bring out a lot of emotions, and they are not always the happy ones that we hope for, but that doesn’t mean that we have to lose our spirit of happiness. I am trying my best to believe that and hold on to the past memories of all the holiday cheer that was always felt.
Merry Christmas and happy New Year to you and yours!
As much as I would like to have a green thumb, I am convinced that I don’t have one….yet. I told myself that I wanted to grow my own herbs so I bought a few and potted them and placed them in the front of the house. I watered them in the beginning and then with a week of rain I knew that I didn’t need to water them because they had had their fair share of it. As I went through the week I didn’t think too much about the herbs and as soon as they crossed my mind, the thought was soon forgotten by something else.
Just today I went out to check on them, and what I found looked like I hadn’t been out there in forever. I looked at my herbs, which had dried up and were so lifeless, that I felt so guilty about not taking the proper care of them. As I looked at them and realized that I would probably never inherit the ‘green thumb’ that so many get, it made me think of how lifeless the herbs were now, but I knew that if I took care of them that they could possibly blossom into what they should have been. I started to think about how sometimes, we can face lifeless situations in the beginning and if we take the time to actually nurture them the way that they need to be, and if we are attentive to them, that they can grow out of their lifelessness and become something beautiful.
Just because things may lose their luster and may not look like what we once remember them to be does not mean that if we take care of them the way that we should that they will not be what they were to once be.
Have you ever had one of those moments where out of nowhere, someone you haven’t thought about in years crosses your mind? I think we’ve all been there, and for me it was a guy who wasn’t exactly an ex, but he was an example of what I didn’t want going forward. (Hmmm…I might have to write that down!) I was sitting on my couch trying to find something to watch on tv and I began scrolling through social media and there he was-everything I realized that I didn’t want, but once upon a time he was everything my imagination told me was good for me. In that moment when I saw him I was taken back by my feelings-I had to catch myself because out of nowhere all of those old feelings came back and took me by surprise. As I looked at him I got swept back up in to everything that I remembered feeling-the feelings that I could never turn off. I looked closely enough to where it felt like time just stood still, but then came my common sense and it took me by surprise and before I knew it the feeling was gone like the rain once the sun has come out. I sat there knowing that it’s okay to feel those feelings or be taken back down memory lane, but just because I have those feelings I don’t have to get stuck there nor do I need to sit there and try to relive them by-take them for nothing more than a fleeting memory.
Oh how I love Sunday’s….and that was not always the case. Until now Sunday’s represented the end of the weekend and the beginning of yet another agonizing work week. But now, I am able to appreciate Sunday’s more than I used to and I guess I can chalk that up to being able to use this day to really relax and kind of ease into my weekly routine (before it actually gets here). Going from work to here and there, then running errands, doesn’t leave you much free time to just “be” so when I am able to carve a few minutes out of my day to just relax and let my mind be at ease-it’s always a good thing. This for me now is one of those things that I can appreciate and really embrace-especially because I can use this as a day to just gear myself up for what I want to do next. I have the time to reflect on the previous week and know what I want to do differently. So, as your Sunday winds down take the time to reflect on and to embrace your time and what you will do for this new week.
Have a Great Week! xoxoxo
Have you ever felt like there are not enough hours in the day to make what you want happen? If you haven’t I’ve been there…and lately more than once. It feels like with work I never have enough time to do those little things. Sometimes I just don’t want to do them-and then I seem to find myself being a couch potato because I don’t want to get up at all. You know the feeling, where work seems to take up more time and energy than you imagined it would (or you’d like to give it) so you find yourself trying to catch up on things when you can only to find yourself feeling like time is not on your side. Literally, you look at the clock and it seems like if you’re going to get things accomplished then you would have to miss sleep or you’d have to miss out on getting things done. There isn’t enough time in the day to do what we would need to do, but I believe in the grand scheme of things if you really want things to come together then they will and time will be on your side-regardless of how it looks.
Happy New Year! I am so thankful to have made it through another year. To still “be” after all that we’ve gone through on last year, I know that it was nothing but the grace of God that got us through. I know that a lot of things that went on were probably more so in my head than in actuality, but nevertheless we’ve made it through. I know for myself looking back over last year-and I could be saying this because the year has passed-but 2015 really wasn’t all that bad. I definitely learned a lot about myself, I had to learn to walk away from some things and some people whose time has expired in my life. I had to challenge myself and grow, and I am so very proud of that. I am proud of me for making it through! I thank God so much because He was the only thing that kept me going. Thank you Lord. 2015 had its share of good things as well as its share of difficulties but the good things definitely outweighed the bad and there is no need to even harbor over it. I believe that this New Year will be AMAZING! I believe that this is the year that everything will come together for all of us. I believe that what we’ve been working toward will pay off this year. I believe that this year will be the year that we shall all be more prosperous than we were before. I believe that this year we won’t have to struggle as we’ve had in previous years. I believe that this year that everything will come together for the good of those who love and fear God. I believe that God’s will for us will be done. 2016 is the year of endless possibilities. There will be no limitations, except for the ones that we put upon ourselves. We are given a new beginning and have another chance to choose how we will live and more importantly how we see ourselves. I pray that we all make the most of this new year! Have a blessed and wonderful new year.